“Work is the curse of the drinking class.” I didn’t make that up (Oscar Wilde did), but how true that quote is. So those members who are retired, almost retired, or thinking about retiring, please visit the beautiful Columbian Home Anchor Bar for some wonderful, well-priced adult refreshments. The bar opens at 2:00 PM Monday through Saturday (Sunday at 10:00 AM). If you stay a little while, you will be rewarded with Happy Hour, which runs from 4:00 – 6:00 PM. Starting in September, there will be a Happy Hour Bar Menu on Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays so that you can enjoy a little snack while you imbibe or you could consider it an appetizer for your dinner. Speaking of dinner, you probably know the kitchen is 99% finished and our great chef Kathy Krom will be making some changes to the menu, with more specials for you to enjoy.
As of late we have been getting very busy, so the kitchen staff would appreciate it if you would make reservations so they can serve you better. If you call and leave a message on the reservation line, please speak clearly. I’ve heard some messages that were so garbled they sound like they were coming from underwater. This can lead to misunderstandings. A personal example of this is when I first joined our church, our Pastor asked if we would join the Parish Council so we could get to know the church better. At the end of our first meeting, the Pastor asked the council if they knew of anyone who needed our prayers or wanted to thank the Lord for answered prayers. Mary raised her hand and said, “Two months ago, my husband Frank had a terrible bicycle accident, and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating, and the doctors didn’t know if they could help Frank.” All the men in the room gasped as we imagined the pain poor Frank must have experienced. Mary continued, saying, “Frank couldn’t even hold me or our children on his lap, and every movement caused him terrible pain. The doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out that they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Frank’s scrotum by wrapping a wire mesh around it and holding it in place with metal staples.” Again, all the men in the room cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined this horrible surgery. In a quivering voice, Mary said, “Now, thank the Lord, Frank is out of the hospital and in time his scrotum should recover completely.” The Pastor asked if anyone had anything else to say, and a man slowly rose to his feet and said, “I’m Frank. And I just wanted to tell my wife that the word is sternum.” (For those of you from Macungie, sternum is the breastbone.) So, don’t be like Mary and confuse anyone when you make your reservation. Be concise and please use the correct words so no one worries about your sternum or the date and time of your reservation. Thank you.
Karaoke is back on Saturday, September 7. For all those members who like to sing, come on out to the beautiful Columbian Home that evening. Warning: the last time we had Karaoke Night we had some screaming, so we ask those people (and you know who you are) to please just hum. We don’t want to scare the neighbors again.
Yes, Trivia will be back starting on Wednesday, September 11! Study up on your eighth-grade history, check out Dora the Explorer, and try to find Waldo. Hal will be so proud. You know it’s going to be a fun evening, and if you support the event, we will hold Trivia Night twice a month instead of just once.
On Saturday, October 12, we will have another Country & Western Night with the fabulous Johnny K. He will be singing your favorites, like “Don’t Bend Over, Honey ‘Cause I Can See the Moon,” “Sweetheart, I’ll Love You Forever But Don’t Tell My Ma,” and everyone’s favorite, “I Won’t Go Huntin’ With You Jake, But I’ll Go Chasin’ Women.” Make your reservation early because this event is usually a sell-out.
As the Kardashians celebrate their 25th season, I would like to congratulate myself for never watching a single episode. If you want great entertainment in a fantastic setting in a beautiful 115-year-old mansion, come to the beautiful Columbian Home on Friday evenings from 5:30-7:30 for live music on the deck. You can enjoy great food, drinks, and company. If the weather is uncooperative, we will simply move the entertainment inside! We hope to see you there.
Enjoy what’s left of the summer and be assured that I will keep you in my prayers.
All the best,
Joe
Joe Mascari, President