Many of you remembered that my birthday was last month, and I want to thank all the members who sent me birthday gifts. However, next year if you want to buy me a present could you please include the receipt? The Dollar Store refused to give me my money back without one. I have learned a few things about getting older: I finally got my head together, but now my body is falling apart. My wild oats are now mostly enjoyed with prunes and all bran; the world only beats a path to my door when I’m in the bathroom. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
One thing I won’t forget is that on April 12, the greatest Ham Raffle on the planet will take place at the beautiful Columbian Home. We will have twenty hams so wonderful that old MacDonald himself would be proud to say, “An oink, oink, here and an oink, oink there…” Not only will Porky Pig’s cousins be there, but we will have so many prizes (nearly 100!) that you will think Christmas has come early. The beer and soda will flow freely during the raffle. We start promptly at 2:00 PM and are finished by 5:00 PM. Bring your family, friends, and neighbors to the greatest show on earth on Saturday, April 12.
The Post St. Patrick’s Parade Party was a great success. The music, Guinness, and Jameson were plentiful. Celtic United Pipe Band stopped by for a visit and gave us a terrific show. DJ Rob Reilly played songs that I knew most of the words to and folks had a great time. It was a grand day to celebrate Ireland’s patron saint, and we didn’t have to call the SWAT team even once.
Nominations for the Board of Directors of the Columbian Home are now open. If you are an active member for 5 years or more, you qualify to run. Give your name to Jim Gallagher, Joe Brogan, or Ed Barry if you are interested.
On June Saturday, June 14th, the Columbian Home will hold a Golf Tournament at Shepherd Hills. The cost per golfer is a bargain at $125, which includes golf, snacks, and a buffet dinner. Other prizes will be awarded as well. Please see Erma Dantonio for more details. All proceeds will benefit the Columbian Home and its charities.
On Easter Sunday, April 20th, Kathy will once again be serving a delicious buffet dinner at the beautiful Columbian Home. Make your reservations now as this event always sells out quickly.
Saturday, April 26th is the date for our Springfest Dance Party with DJ Rob Reilly. Again, make your reservations early so you can enjoy a spring evening of dinner and dancing.
Many years ago (23, to be exact), my son David asked if he could take piano lessons. I said yes, thinking that this would be a short-lived activity and that I certainly wouldn’t have to invest in a piano. The joke was on me, because I’ve purchased two. Well, this week, he informed me that he has been accepted into the Doctoral Program for Orchestral Conducting at the University of Missouri Kansas City. I am so proud of him that I might pay his Columbian Home membership dues this year. That reminds me…if you know someone interested in joining the Columbian Home who has both a pulse and a checkbook, pick up a membership application at the bar for them or ask a Board Member to help you.
The Columbian Home Board of Directors try to answer your questions about the operations and policies of The Columbian Home. We try to answer right away, but sometimes we need to investigate further before we can provide an answer. We never want to mislead you nor do we want rumors to spread. That reminds me of a story of a man who smelled of booze and cigarettes who sat next to a priest on the subway. His tie was stained, there was lipstick on his collar, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his coat pocket. He opened a newspaper and began to read. He soon turned to the priest and said, “Father, do you know what causes bilateral pneumonia?” The priest looked down his nose at the man and said, “My son, it is caused by loose living, consorting with wicked women, and too much alcohol.” The disheveled man said, “Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle.” The priest, thinking that he had been too harsh with this fellow, asked, “My son, how long have you had bilateral pneumonia?” The man answered, “I don’t have it, Father, but the paper here says the Pope has it.” MORAL: Make sure you understand the question before you offer an answer.
Have a happy and blessed Easter. As always, I will keep you in my prayers.
All the best,
Joe
Joe Mascari, President