Now that the First Lady and I are empty nesters, we are reminiscing (for those of you from Alburtis, reminiscing means to indulge in enjoyable recollections of past events) about our children when they lived at home. I remember when our oldest daughter went on her first date. I said to the boy, “Have her home by 9:15.” He said, “Great, we’ll see you on September 15.” I gave him the long stare. She was home by 8:30. The First Lady and I had a good laugh over that one.
My oldest son was taking biology in high school. I thought I would show him the evils of alcohol via a science experiment. I had him put a worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of Jameson Irish Whiskey. The worm in the glass of water lived, while the other worm in the glass of Irish whiskey curled up and died. I said, “Alright, Son, what does that show you?” He said, “If you drink Jameson Irish Whiskey, you will not have worms.” I shook my head and had a glass of Jameson.
When my younger daughter had a problem, she would say, “Dad, I want Mom.” That’s the kid version of I’d-like-to-speak-to-your-supervisor. I sent her to boarding school in either Tibet or St. Louis – I forget which one. I was probably drinking Jameson so I didn’t get worms.
My younger son told me that when he became a grown up, he wanted to be a musician. I told him, “Well, you can’t do both.” Okay, I was wrong about that. He is currently getting his doctoral degree in orchestral conducting. I bought him a bottle of Jameson.
OK, so my tales didn’t often come out the way they should have, but reminiscing about our children, grandchildren, places we’ve been and places we’d like to go do make great stories. Why not bring your stories to the beautiful Columbian Home and share them with your family, friends, and that interesting guy at the end of the bar who looks like he just got out of prison? Heck, bring your family along so we can all see just who you’re talking about. And remember, if you think you have worms, our nice selection of adult beverages will take care of your problem. So, don’t be a lonely empty nester. Come to the beautiful Columbian Home and do some reminiscing. Bring your stories. We’ll take care of the worms.
Trivia Night with Hal Fittipaldi will be held on Wednesday, October 15. Last month I learned that there is not one canary on the Canary Islands and on the Virgin Islands, same thing…not one canary (shame on you members from Emmaus). So, come to Trivia Night and ask Hal about those Virgin Islands.
Music on the Deck will now be Music on the Porch. Fall is here and the daylight and weather are changing. That doesn’t stop the music at the beautiful Columbian Home! We just bring it indoors so you can still have a great time every Friday evening.
On Thursday, October 30, we will have our annual Halloween Costume Party. Kato will be playing scary hits like, “I’ve Got Skeletons in my Closet and Ants in my Pants,” “The Monster Mash,” and my all-time favorite, “It’s a Long Way to Tipperary Because my Vasectomy Didn’t Work,” and many more of your favorite Halloween songs. Dig your Halloween costume out of your closet and come to the beautiful Columbian Home for a frighteningly good time. Prizes will be awarded for the best costumes!
Mark your calendar for November 15. It’s time for the fabulous Turkey Raffle! We will raffle off 20 of the best tasting turkeys – so good they would have made the pilgrims jealous (except that turkeys weren’t invented until 1869 – go look it up – I’ll wait). We also have well over 70 prizes that are so wonderful Santa wants to know where we got them. There is a gorgeous 5’x8’ area rug donated by a crazy guy who loves to give away rugs. There is also a full-length mink coat (honest!) that was worn only once by Katharine the Great of Northampton who donated it to our raffle when she became a vegan. We will see you on Saturday, November 15 from 2:00-5:00 PM. There is free select beer/soda during the event, and the kitchen will be open for your dining pleasure while you spend your money on raffle tickets to raise money for our charities.
Enjoy the beautiful fall weather, stay safe, and tell someone today that they look nice. Compliments are free and you’ll both feel good.
As always, you are in my prayers.
All the best,
Joe Mascari, President
Joe