I hope your summer vacation went better than mine. The First Lady and I wanted to go to the shore for a few days, and since we are now empty nesters, we thought it would be great to check out an adults-only (no children) resort. We found one online and I looked at all the amenities offered. While checking into the resort, being a modest man, I said to the clerk, “I hope the adult channel in my room is disabled.” To which she replied, “We don’t have those types of channels here, you sick creep.” We cancelled our reservation, left the state, and are now living in a monastery in an unknown location.
Vacation getaways, no matter how well-planned, always seem to have unwelcome surprises. My favorite respite is the beautiful Columbian Home, where the food and drinks are always great, the atmosphere friendly, and the bar is adults-only. If you know of someone who needs a brief respite, pick up an application at the bar and have him/her fill it out so they can be a member of the beautiful Columbian Home. But there is just one surprise: if they join now, even though the application is for 2027, they will get the rest of 2026 (for those of you from Alburtis, that’s September, October, November, and December) as a bonus!
When I sit down to compose the President’s Letter each month, I try to decide which topics to cover, but crazy ideas and questions keep popping into my head. For example, can an atheist get insurance against Acts of God? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too? Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? I don’t have answers to these questions, but I know a guy who does, and he will be here on Wednesday, September 16th for Trivia Night. Yes, I mean Hal Fittipaldi, and he will be back to stump you with his usual great questions at 7:00 PM that evening. Come for dinner and have some fun.
Music Bingo with Matt Barga will be back on Saturday, September 12. This event sells out quickly, so make your reservations now.
The beautiful Columbian Home Golf Tournament was a big success. Thanks go out to all the participants, sponsors, and especially to Erma and Bill Dantonio who did a great job of putting it all together. Hope to see you next summer on the links.
Have you visited the Columbian Home website? It has been greatly improved and is continually updated. Thanks to Mike Keenan of Keenan-Nagle Advertising and his beautiful daughter, Kristen (who fortunately takes after her beautiful mother), our online presence has been greatly improved. Tell everyone you know to visit us at www.thecolumbianhome.com to see our events, dining specials, and great photos. You’ll even learn about the history of our incredible building, so be sure to check it out.
Perhaps you’ve noticed the statue of the Blessed Mother in the Grotto at the entrance to the beautiful Columbian Home. It has been given a wonderful makeover by Giovanni Poloni and his crew from the Knights of Columbus. Giovanni is entering the seminary this year, and we are most grateful for his kindness. Stop by this lovely statue and say a prayer for yourself, your family, your country. She is listening.
Some final advice for the summer: Don’s sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
Please be safe and enjoy the lovely late summer weather. As always, I keep you in my prayers.
All the best,
Joe
Joe Mascari, President