My good friend Rufus died last month and left his wife Billie Jean $100,000 for an elaborate funeral. I told Billie Jean about the Columbian Home as a place for the funeral luncheon, and she agreed because Rufus always enjoyed the beautiful Columbian Home. I helped her make the arrangements, and, after it was all over, asked what she thought of the luncheon. She said, “Rufus would have been pleased. The food was great and the wait staff was exceptional.” Being the curious type, I whispered to her, “I know what Rufus left for the funeral; how much did everything really cost?” She said, “All of it. $100,000.” I said, “Really? I mean it was all wonderful, but $100,000?” Billie Jean nodded and said, “The funeral service was $10,000. I gave the church $500, and the food and drink total was $2500. All the rest went toward the memorial stone.” I computed the amount quickly. “$87,000 for a memorial stone? Exactly how big is it?” She smiled and said, “Seven and a half carats.”
I’m telling you this story because many people don’t realize that the beautiful Columbian Home does funeral lunches any day of the week, and even non-members can have a funeral luncheon at the beautiful Columbian Home. Just call and ask for Jim Amey, and he will provide all the details. By having a funeral lunch at the beautiful Columbian Home, you will definitely save enough for a really nice memorial stone.
October has 5 Thursdays this year and that means 4 different entertainers with distinctive styles. On October 1, we will feature a classic vocalist, the lovely and talented Kristen Morgenstern. The not-so-lovely but very talented Johnny K. will perform on October 8 and 15. Johnny will be singing popular country hits like, “How Can I Miss You When You Just Won’t Go Away,” and my favorite, “If I Had a Nose Full of Nickels, I’d Blow It All on You.”. The relatively new Bueno Band will be here on October 22 and they are exciting. Finally, October 30 brings us not only the spectacular Kato, but also our annual Halloween Party and Costume
Contest, complete with prizes. So, mark your calendars for some pretty great Thursday evenings this month. Make your reservations early. Eat, drink, and meet Mary or Jean or Larry or Bob at the beautiful Columbian Home.
Saturday, October 3 is Karaoke Night with DJ P.K. Has someone ever told you that you have a good voice when you sing in the shower or maybe even a great voice after you’ve had a few glasses of wine? Then come on out to Karaoke Night and step up to the mic. Remember that Tyler Swift, Mariah Scary, and Larry Lipschitz did this last month and are still working at the Home Depot.
The King of Trivia, Hal Fitipaldi, will host Trivia Night on October 21. See if you can stump His Royal Highness by asking him, “Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all? “or “What was the best thing before sliced bread?” I’m sure you will make Hal’s day.
I was at Wegman’s the other day looking at turkeys for the fabulous Turkey Raffle on Saturday, November 14, and a lady next to me was picking through the wrapped birds. She said she couldn’t find one large enough for her family, so she asked the stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” He said, “No, Ma’am. They’re dead.” I had to leave the store. Be sure to come to the beautiful Columbian Home from 2:00-5:00 PM on Saturday, November 14 for the Great Columbian Home Turkey Raffle. We’ll have lots of raffles and prizes and free beer/soda during the event. Look for your tickets in the mail!
Fall is here. Have fun and stay safe when you go trick or treating. As always, I keep you in my prayers.
All the best,
Joe
Joe Mascari, President