Some things are better left unsaid, and I usually realize it right after I say them, but here goes anyway.
I’m always trying to understand men and women, so I thought that the best way to accomplish this would be to liken both sexes to geography. Between ages 21-25, a woman is like Africa: half-discovered, half-wild, and naturally beautiful. Between 26-30, a woman is like Italy: well-developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value. Between 36-40, a woman is like Greece: gently aging but still warm and a desirable place to visit. Between 41-50, a woman is like Great Britain: she has a glorious past. Between 51-60, a woman is like Israel: she has been through a war, doesn’t make the same mistake twice, and takes care of business. Between 61-70, a woman is like Ireland: self-preserving, but open to meeting new people. After age 70, she becomes like Tibet: wildly beautiful with a mysterious past and possesses the wisdom of the ages, with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge. The geography of a man between birth and age 80 is that he is like North Korea: ruled by a pair of nuts. The end.
So, Ladies, if you are between ages 21-121 and would like to share your geography that I described above, come out to the beautiful Columbian Home for a Dance Party with Hal Fitipaldi on Thursday, April 2. He’s received requests for music from the 80s, classic oldies, Motown, and Disco. Hal’s playlist included music from Cindy Lauper, Madonna, Billy Joel, The Bangles, Lionel Ritchie, and many more. Ladies – get out your dancing shoes and come enjoy the evening dancing to Hal’s Hits. Don’t forget to bring your nutty gentleman.
A Riddle for Senile Citizens: You are on a horse galloping at a constant speed. On your right is a sharp drop off. On your left is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is a galloping kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake it. What must you do to get out of this highly dangerous situation? Get your drunken arse off the merry-go-round, sober up, and come to the beautiful Columbian Home on Easter Sunday for a very special buffet! My mouth is watering as I think about the Chicken Sultana, Flounder Florentine, S. Clyde Weaver Fresh Smoked Lancaster Ham, Cavatappi Pasta Primavera, and Eye Round Roast of Beef with all the trimmings for just $39.00. Make your reservations now because this event is sure to sell out.
Our new chef and the kitchen crew are doing a fabulous job. If you haven’t dined at the beautiful Columbian Home lately, come give us a whirl. You’ll love the change.
The weather is getting milder and soon we will move the Friday Night entertainment to the deck, but for now we’re still inside on the porch with our stars Gene Cullison on April 3, Chris George on April 10, Johnny K. on April 17, and Rob Ballonoff on April 24. We tried to get Frank Sinatra, Elvis, Prince, and Whitney Houston for these dates, but they are all still dead. Many thanks to Jim Gallagher and Diane Weber-Gallagher for their efforts in finding us such wonderful performers.
The Greatest Ham Raffle Greenleaf Street ever witnessed was a huge success thanks to the efforts of many: Joe Brogan, Jim Gallagher, Diane Weber-Gallagher, Steve Selvaggio and his compatriot Mark, Jim Amey, Danielle Loikis, Mike Quigley and Carolyn, Dan Driscoll, Lara Pfeiffer, Erma Dantonio, and most of all, my Queen Dianne Mascari who made this successful event happen. Thanks to all of you who attended and supported this event. Look for information about the Turkey Raffle in the fall.
Have a Blessed and Happy Easter. As always, I will keep you in my prayers.
All the best,
Joe Mascari, President