I am proud to announce that our world-renowned Turkey Raffle was a huge success. We raised close to $4000.00 for charities, thanks to your participation and generosity. Thank you. The event was standing room only. Members and their guests arrived early for lunch, drinks, and good seats for the raffle. We received some very good suggestions after the event that we will try to implement next year. The number one suggestion was to cancel the “Catch Your Own Live Turkey” event on the front lawn. The traffic on Fifteenth Street is bad enough, and our members don’t seem to be as fast as they think. So, we will just continue to raffle off twenty turkeys inside the building. For those of you who didn’t attend, you missed 75 of the most unique prizes the world has ever seen. Congratulations to all the lucky winners. On a side note, the Corvette and mink coat both went unclaimed, so we will put them in to the next pile of prizes for the Ham Raffle on Saturday, April 1. Be sure to mark your calendar!
I hope everyone voted on November 8 for their favorite clown – er, I mean dedicated politician. Picking the right candidate can be difficult and tricky. For example, imagine that you are voting for President. Who would you choose?
Candidate A: Associates with crooked politicians and consults with astrologists. He has two mistresses. He chain smokes and drinks 8-10 martinis a day.
Candidate B: He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used drugs in college, and drinks a liter of whiskey every evening.
Candidate C: He is a dedicated war hero. He’s a vegetarian, doesn’t smoke, drinks only occasionally and has never cheated on his wife.
Candidate D: Was elected to the Presidency twice, writes a phenomenal newsletter every month (for those of you from Macungie, “phenomenal” means “terrific”), has a fantastic wife who proofreads all of those letters, is more handsome than the Elephant Man, and makes stuff up.
Who did you vote for?
Candidate A: Franklin Roosevelt
Candidate B: Winston Churchill
Candidate C: Adolph Hitler
Candidate D: Yours Truly
If you picked Candidate D, you are brilliant, but should still consider seeking psychiatric help. So you see, voting, like many things in life, can indeed be difficult and tricky. One thing that’s neither difficult nor tricky is renewing your Columbian Home membership for next year. You must do so by December 31st, so, if you haven’t already done so, see your favorite bartender to take care of that renewal shortly!
December 10th is our Member’s Christmas Party & Dance here at the beautiful Columbian Home. Valerie & Fred will be providing the entertainment. Be certain to make your reservations early because we are expecting a good crowd to join in the festivities. New Year’s Eve is just around the corner, so make your dinner reservations soon.
I hope you and your family had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I know that our family was blessed to be together for the first time in three years and I was very grateful.
Please know that I am keeping all of you in my prayers during this Advent season. I wish you all the Merriest of Christmases and the Happiest of New Years.
Joe.
Joe Mascari, President.