I hope all our members had a wonderful Thanksgiving. The Thanksgiving buffet at the beautiful Columbian Home was incredible. It was so good that I know I must lose a little weight. I promised myself that I would lose 10 pounds. I only have 14 to go. I know I need to get in shape, so I took out a 12-month gym membership. However, my bank called to see if my credit card had been stolen…
That reminds me to tell you that, if you go to Kentucky, it is illegal to carry an ice cream cone in your back pocket. So, if you find that interesting, come to Trivia Night with Hal on December 17. Ask Hal if he knows what the phobia is called that means “fear of cooking.” (It’s mageirocophobia.) If Hal knows this, give him a dollar because that poor man needs to get out more often. Tell him to buy himself something nice.
The Great Columbian Home Christmas Party will take place on Saturday, December 13, with Charles Eckhart entertaining you throughout the evening. We tried to make the party a little more festive this year with a holiday theme, but our life-size animatronic (for those of you from Trexlertown, that is a technology used to create life-like robots) reindeer malfunctioned, and by malfunctioned I mean escaped. According to our security camera footage, it charged out of the beautiful Columbian Home by kicking the front door open and is now roaming the grounds with its head stuck on the “aggressively nodding” setting. If you see a reindeer on the grounds wearing a light green scarf, a sweatshirt that says, “I didn’t kill Grandma,” and smoke trailing from its battery pack, please do not attempt to pet it. Do not feed it, and for heaven’s sake do not invite it inside for bingo. Management is handling the situation. Probably.
That reminds me that bingo will be happening on December 22. Mark your calendars and bring your dabbers.
New Year’s Eve at the beautiful Columbian Home promises to be another sell-out. Kathy is providing a lovely menu, and we’ll have the requisite hats and noisemakers, along with terrific entertainment by Kato. Please note that there will once again be a cover charge of $10.00 per person for all in attendance, both at the bar or for dinner and dancing. Make your reservations now.
Friday Night Music on the Porch features some great entertainers: Valerie Borman on December 5, Gene Cullison on December 12, Cassandra Rose on December 19, and Johnny K. on December 26. Make your reservations early and enjoy beautiful music with your delicious dinner.
Just a reminder that whoever changed the language on the TV remote at the bar to Mandarin Chinese, please change it back. Some folks at last week’s Sunday brunch thought they were having a stroke.
Speaking of strokes, keep in mind that we are holding a golf tournament next summer. Ask Erma and Bill Dantonio about the particulars. We will keep you updated as more information becomes available.
Our beautiful Nativity set is once again up on the mantle in the ballroom. In fact, the whole place is decorated for Christmas and looks wonderful. Thanks to the decorating volunteers: Diane Weber Gallagher, Jim Gallagher, Joe Brogan, Mike Keenan, Dianne Mascari, and Jim Amey.
Missing anything? We have a Lost and Found. Currently, we have several umbrellas, one slipper (left foot), and a pair of glasses that someone obviously needs, a sweater vest with the name “Cornelius” (we don’t have a member by that name), a hearing aid (with the volume set on maximum). Please let us know if any of these items are yours. We would donate them to charity, but no one wants them.
I almost forgot to mention the All-You-Can-Eat Spaghetti Dinner on Saturday, December 6. Enjoy all the finest pasta and sauces (imported from the far corners of Newark) you can eat for only $13.00/$7.00 for children. Plus, Glen Miller, the One-Man Band will be playing all your favorite Italian songs, including “Lucky Eddie Ain’t So Lucky Anymore, Cha Cha Cha.”
I would be remiss if I didn’t thank everyone who attended our fabulous Turkey Raffle on November 16. All of you seemed to have a great time. I would especially like to thank those who volunteered their help during the event: Diane Weber Gallagher, Danielle (our great bartender), Mike Keenan, Steve Selvaggio and his friend, Mark, Joe Brogan, Erma and Bill Dantonio, and the First Lady.
May you have a Blessed Christmas and a Happy, Healthy New Year. As always, I keep you in my prayers.
All the best,
Joe
Joe Mascari, President