I went to my 55th college reunion last week at Allentown College, aka DeSales University. There were very few of my classmates who attended, but the few who came enjoyed great conversation and memories. My classmate, Reginald, came alone, so I asked him where his wife was. He told me she had been missing for a week and the police had told him to be prepared for the worst. I said, “What did you do?” He said he went to the thrift shop and got all her clothes back. I had a tear in my eye ready to fall. Another classmate of mine, Beauregard, was sitting next to me talking to his wife Tippy about reincarnation (those of you from Easton should just look it up). His wife said that she would like to come back as a cow. Beauregard said, “Tippy, you’re obviously not listening.” I managed to duck; Beauregard didn’t. He regained consciousness before dessert was served. My roommate, Lamonte, and his wife, Bertha June, told me that just the other day a charity worker dropped by their estate in Hokendauqua while they were having their pool filled and asked them if they could help with the drought in Pakistan. They said they would love to, but their hose only reaches to the end of their driveway. So, no matter what stories you have about marriage, reincarnation, or your hose being too short, bring them to the bar at the beautiful Columbian Home, where everybody knows your name and wants to hear those tales. Remember that the only thing that ruins a good story is an eyewitness.

The main story this month is that the restaurant will be closed from July 1-31st for a complete renovation of the kitchen. The kitchen will be open (God willing and Steve Selvaggio backing him up) on August 1st.

While the kitchen is closed, the beautiful Columbian Home bar WILL REMAIN OPEN for its usual hours: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday from 2:00 – 10:00 PM, Thursday from 2:00 – 11 PM. Sundays the bar will be closed until breakfast returns. We will still be featuring your favorite live music on Thursday evenings from Michael Sherer, Kato, Johnny K., and Valerie & Fred.

(Benny Benack and the Iron City Six are not in the rotation this month due to a scheduling conflict with their parole officer. We should be seeing them sometime in 2050.) There will be FOOD TRUCKS on site so you don’t starve. Thus far, the food trucks who have agreed to come to the Columbian Home include Crabs and Slabs, Hungry Hound, Orizaba, and others. Flossie’s Sauerkraut Emporium has cancelled due to sever indigestion. The schedule will be posted on our website, so check often. We plan on having the trucks there from Wednesday through Saturday evenings, beginning July 3 (Remember that we are closed on July 4). Friday Night Music on the Deck will continue (weather permitting).

I really think it’s time to take the warning labels off everything and let stupidity work itself out of the gene pool. But until that happens, one warning label that all members will have to abide by is that their actions must be respectful of all members and staff. Any member or guest who does not abide by this policy will have their membership cancelled. There is a zero-tolerance policy for disrespecting others. Please report any incidents to the bartenders or a board member.

Hey, do you want a great part-time job? It can get you out of the house with your wife’s/husband’s permission to have fun (don’t worry – they’ll still know where you are) and make a little extra cash. The beautiful Columbian Home is looking for bartenders. Hours and days are very flexible, starting with one day a week or more if you like. Our membership is bordering on 1600, and many are of Celtic descent and love a taste of Ireland. Many are of Italian descent and love a taste of the grape. The remaining group are just thirsty. The surroundings are safe, people friendly, tips are good, and our Bar Manager, Jim Amey, has never argued with anyone from Lower Macungie. So, if you’re interested, call The Columbian Home and make an appointment with Jim. I promise he doesn’t bite (very hard).

I hope you all have a wonderful summer. Remember: knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, and wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. Happy Fourth of July and may God Bless America.

As always, I keep you all in my prayers.

All the best,