A few days ago, a few Columbian Home friends and I went to the casino for a drink or two and to play a few games of chance. Not wanting to risk a DUI or worse, we all agreed on a limited time to do both. As we were leaving the casino, we passed by the craps tables and a gorgeous, well-developed young blonde approached a table and bet $20,000 on a single roll of the dice. She said, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier if I’m wearing just my underwear.” With that, she stripped down to her bra and panties and yelled, “Come on, Baby! Mama needs new clothes!” As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed, “Yes! Yes! I won! I won!” She hugged each of the dealers, picked up her winnings and clothing and quickly departed. My Columbian Home friends and I just stared at each other, dumbfounded; along with the dealers at the craps table who were in a stupor. Finally, one of the dealers asked, “What did she roll?” The other answered, “I don’t know. I thought you were watching the dice.”
The moral of the story:
Most Columbian Home members are smart.
Not all blondes are dumb.
But all men…are men.
In the bar at the beautiful Columbian Home, thanks to Mike Keenan, we recently posted a beautifully framed poster of the “House Rules,” to remind everyone of the proper way to conduct oneself while visiting the Columbian Home. The reason for this is that we have had reports of a few members who have acted inappropriately while at the Home. The beautiful Columbian Home is a place you can visit with your family and friends and know that you are in a safe, congenial environment. Respectful behavior is what we all expect and deserve. Thanks for helping to make our beautiful Columbian Home a wonderful place to spend time. One unpublished rule is that there is no stripping down to your undergarments while playing the skill machine at the bar. This rule does not apply to Sidney Sweeney.
Music Bingo is back on Saturday, June 20th in the ballroom. Come play the updated version of “Name That Tune” and have a lot of fun.
The Columbian Home Board of Directors election was held on May 19th. The winners were Joe Brogan, Erma Dantonio, and Ed Jordan. Ed is a previous board member and we’re glad to have him back. Joe Mascari was also re-elected. He might not be funny or good looking or smart or talented – I forget where I was going with this. Senility has been a smooth transition for me. Anyway, congratulations to the newly elected board members. Departing our board after many years of service is Ed Barry, who chose not to run for reelection. We are so grateful to him for his dedication to the beautiful Columbian Home. Be sure to thank him next time you see him at the bar.
On Friday, June 5th, all you Parrot heads are in for a treat. Come out to the beautiful Columbian Home deck and enjoy a Jimmy Buffet Tribute Night with Gene Cullison. Break out those Hawaiian shirts and enjoy a fabulous evening.
We still have a few openings for our Golf Tournament on Saturday, August 8th. It’s going to be a great day on the greens. See Erma Dantonio for tickets and info.
For all fathers, remember “All that truly matters in the end is that you are loved.” Happy Father’s Day and God bless you.
As always, I keep you in my prayers.
All the best.
Joe
Joe Mascari, President