It was a sad day for me last week when I found out that Pat Sajak retired from “Wheel of Fortune.” I don’t watch much TV, so I was surprised when I saw someone hosting the show who wasn’t Pat. Then I learned that Vanna White was in the hospital. I was told she was having trouble with her vowels. (For those members from Wescosville that was a play on words. Look it up.) Vanna was the real reason I watched “The Wheel.” I was her #1 fan. Before I married the First Lady, Vanna once asked me out. OK, she actually said, “Get out of my room!” but that still counts as a first date. Like I said, I don’t watch much TV, but “Wheel of Fortune” and “Jeopardy” are my two favorite shows. I enjoy the way Alex Trebek interacts with the contestants and even tries to help the players get the right answers. And, when they don’t get the answer right, he never calls them boneheads. He is a patient man, and I hope Alex never retires. So, if you want to be happy again like me, come to the beautiful Columbian Home and watch “Wheel of Fortune” and “Jeopardy” on our brand-new, extra-large screen, fantastic, unbelievable TV at the Anchor Bar. Vanna White and Alex Trebek will be almost life-size. Join us for Happy Hour (Monday through Friday from 4:00 – 6:00 PM) and ask the bartender to put Pat, Vanna, and Alex on the big screen. Have an adult beverage and enjoy the shows.
Trivia Night returns on Wednesday, October 9. Hal will try to stump you with questions like, “Who is buried in Grant’s tomb?” or “Give three examples of a paraprosdokian. I don’t know much about Grant, but I do know that a paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence is surprising or unexpected. For example: “The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it’s still on my list,” or “ I didn’t’ say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.” And my favorite: “Going to church doesn’t make you a Catholic any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.” Anyway, go to Trivia Night (it starts at 7:00 PM) and see if you can dethrone the current champions (The Mascari Team: The Rug Rats.) Any time four Mascaris get out of a car without arguing, a bank has just been robbed. (paraprosdokian). You will have a great time at Trivia Night – you can bank on it.
Country and Western Night is coming up on Saturday, October 12th with our very own fabulous Johnny K. He will be entertaining you with songs like, “Big Momma Don’t Leave Me, I Need Money for Gas,” “Give Me a Kiss and I’ll Give You My Truck,” and my all-time favorite, “Well Smack My Butt and Call Me Sally, But Don’t Make Me Get a Job.” Wear your Western attire, bring your best gal or guy, but leave your horse at home. Calf roping, Bronco Busting, and Bull Riding will take place on the front lawn by the merry-go-round, but Throwing the Bull will be at the bar as usual.
Bingo will be on Wednesday, October 23rd this month, starting at 5:30 PM. Come have a snack, a drink, and a good time.
Friday night music will continue from 5:30 – 7:30, but it will be moved indoors as the weather turns chilly. Tell your friends, family, and even the people you work with to come to the beautiful Columbian Home for some great live music. Tell the bartender that President Joe (not the one in Rehoboth Beach) sent you and he will put free ice in your drink. You’re welcome.
Saturday, November 16 is the date of the 175th Annual Turkey Raffle at the beautiful Columbian Home. Free beer, free soft drinks, and 20 of the best turkeys that Ma Jaindl has ever polka danced with will be chanced off – plus over 75 prizes of questionable origin. The turkeys this year have been defeathered, because last year some members started to tickle the waitstaff and the Emcee (he liked it; the waitstaff didn’t). More info next month – watch the mail for your Turkey Raffle tickets.
There are leaves available on the Columbian Home Family Tree, and space on the wall for Family Plaques. Christmas will be here before you know it, and what a great way for you to remember a loved one by putting a message of remembrance or honor on a leaf. Silver leaves are $200, gold leaves are $350, and emerald leaves are $500. We also have room for Family Plaques. During the upcoming blessed season, remember those special people who have made an impact on your life and help the beautiful Columbian Home by purchasing a leaf or plaque. Every time you visit, you will see their name beautifully and proudly displayed
As my old friend Al Einstein liked to say, “Remember that life is like a bicycle; to keep your balance you must keep moving.”
As always, I will keep you in my prayers
All the best,
Joe
Joe Mascari, President
P.S. – For all of you from Northampton – yes, I do know that Alex Trebek is dead.