The PA Lottery was up to seven hundred million dollars as of last week, so I asked the First Lady, “Dear, if you won the lottery, would you still love me? She said, “Of course I would. I’d miss you, but I’d still love you.” Speaking of the First Lady, many of you have asked me about her condition since her craniotomy earlier this summer (for those of you from Northampton, a craniotomy is when a piece of skull is removed to access the brain. Do not try this at home.) She is doing well, and she is almost back to her old self. For instance, she yelled at me the other day, “You aren’t even listening to me, are you?” I couldn’t help but think what a terrible way to start a conversation. Yes, she is almost back to normal, and every time I ask her if she would like to go to the beautiful Columbian Home for dinner and adult beverages, she jumps in the car, honks the horn, and yells, “Hurry up Old Man! I’m thirsty!” I do thank all of you for your good wishes and prayers.
Jim and Diane Gallagher have been our Entertainment and Activities Chairs for about 100 years or so (they don’t look a day over 39), and I would like to thank them for the great job they do to make the beautiful Columbian Home a great place to go for a really enjoyable time. We can leave our worries behind us, just like the time I took a laxative at breakfast. But I never worry about coming to the beautiful Columbian Home because the men’s room is always very clean. But I digress. So, Jim and Diane, thank you for arranging for our great entertainers and activities. The beautiful Columbian Home truly is the best place in the Lehigh Valley to enjoy terrific entertainment (and clean restrooms).
On Friday, September 5, we will have a new musical talent on the deck. Her name is Cassandra Rose, and she is a gifted singer and guitarist. She’s played at many venues throughout the Valley and beyond, and you know she’s good because Jim and Diane only book the best. Come out this Friday evening and welcome her.
Our insurance company requires that many safety precautions be taken to ensure that you are safe when you visit the beautiful Columbian Home. For example, we have securing cameras, a well-lit parking lot, handicapped accessible entrances and restroom just to name a few. We even had a fire safety training at the home. I was asked, “What steps would you take in the event of a fire?” “Friggin’ big ones” was apparently the wrong answer. Please be assured that we take every possible step to make sure that the beautiful Columbian Home is a safe environment for our members and their guests.
Hal is back with Trivia Night on Wednesday, September 17. Bring your family, friends, and that weird neighbor with the eye patch who lives across the street to see if you can stump Hal.
Karaoke with Allen Newton is back on Saturday, September 20. Come enjoy a great dinner, a few cocktails, and show off your vocal talent.
A reminder that next month, our Annual Halloween Party will take place on Thursday, October 30. Get your costumes ready – we have prizes for the best ones!
Finally, mark your calendars for Saturday, November 15th. That’s the date of our world-famous turkey raffle. Look for your tickets to arrive in the mail soon! As always, it’s going to be a great afternoon of fun and prizes.
Enjoy the last few weeks of summer and stay safe.
As always, you are in my prayers.
All the best,
Joe Mascari, President
Joe